Chapter 1

On my first day as a postpartum nanny, the client's mother-in-law dragged me into the kitchen.

"These are our family rules. You must memorize them backwards and forwards. When you're in our house, you follow our rules," she hissed.

I took the papers she thrust at me and flipped through page after page... There were over 800 rules crammed onto those sheets:

"The mother is forbidden from contacting the baby. The baby is forbidden from contacting female babies. The new mother is forbidden from eating her fill..."

"Rule 1: The mother is forbidden from contacting the baby. This will cultivate the baby's independence from an early age. Less contact with mom prevents the baby from becoming a mama's boy."

"Rule 2: The baby is forbidden from contacting female babies. Our family's precious heir can't be corrupted by outside influences too early."

"Rule 3: The new mother is forbidden from eating her fill. As the baby's mother, she must always be vigilant and can't live too comfortably."

"Rule 4: It's forbidden to teach the baby to talk. The later a child speaks, the smarter they are. Newton didn't start talking until he was 4."

"Rule 5: It's forbidden to put diapers on the baby..."

The list went on and on.

I nearly fainted. Was I hired to be a nanny for the royal family or something?

Barbara was still rambling on, her voice growing hoarse from reciting so many rules. Finally, she shoved the stack of papers at me and told me to read them myself.

After chugging several glasses of water, she started complaining again: "I told Lucy not to stay at that fancy postpartum center. What a waste of $5,000 for a month! And now they've hired you. Do you know how hard my David works for his money?"

"Be honest with me, you must make at least $800 a month, right?"

I looked at the old woman's fierce expression and kept quiet. I was afraid if I told her I made $1,800 a month, she might have a heart attack.

I peeked into the bedroom - thankfully Lucy was still asleep and hadn't heard any of this.

Drawing on my professional ethics, I put on my best smile and said:

"Ma'am, I'm afraid these rules won't work. Modern childcare is based on science. Many old practices are actually harmful to the mother and baby's health!"