Chapter 5

"If you don't die, Julian will never find peace."

"If you don't die, none of us will be happy."

With that, Serena grabbed my neck.

And said, almost cruelly,

"Look at you now, like a monster. What's the point of living?"

"Just die, okay? Die!"

Serena's grip tightened.

And in that pain, I actually felt a sliver of release.

I slowly closed my eyes, waiting for the nightmare to end.

But Julian, once again, saved me.

He embraced Serena, holding her tightly.

"Serena, are you insane? Why would you do that?"

"Do you realize you nearly took a life just now?"

"You have such a bright future ahead of you. Is it really worth ruining your life for someone like this?"

At that moment, Julian finally, unconsciously, blurted out his true feelings.

To sacrifice his entire life for "someone like me."

It wasn't worth it.

He loved Serena.

Loved her so much he couldn't bear to see her destroy her future, ruin her life for "someone like me."

And I, like forgotten trash,

Lay quadriplegic on the cold floor.

Spying on the happiness that once belonged to me.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and into my ears.

But I couldn't even lift a hand to wipe them away.

I could only wait for Julian to help me up with his pitying gaze.

This time, in front of me, he broke things off with Serena.

Serena didn't try to stop him, she silently got up and left.

As if this kind of scene had played out between them a thousand times before.

They both knew.

Neither of them would truly leave.

In the days that followed, Julian and I continued our 'normal' lives.

He tacitly stopped mentioning going abroad.

I, being 'sensible', didn't press him about his relationship with Serena.

We carried on just as before.

Calmly, deceiving ourselves and each other.

But I could see it. Julian was truly exhausted.

He dared not leave me with anyone, nor even let me out of his sight.

Even when he taught classes, he brought me along.

The university, aware of Julian's situation, didn't object.

But I, more than once, suffered incontinence in front of everyone.

In the meeting room, in the classroom.

As the foul odor permeated the air,

Everyone's eyes would turn to me, piercing my soul like knives.

Julian, however, acted as if he smelled nothing, routinely cleaning and tidying up after me.

"Professor Julian is so noble! His wife is like this, and he still doesn't give up. If it were me, I really couldn't do it."

"I say Professor Julian and Ms. Serena are a match made in heaven. That woman is like a ghost, clinging to Professor Julian."

"Look at her face, wouldn't you have nightmares at night?"

Facing all these whispers, Julian acted as if he heard nothing, continuing to push me around the campus.

Watching the sun dry my urine-soaked clothes.

Everyone thought he loved me dearly.

But I always felt it was an unspeakable form of revenge.

Until one day, our story attracted the attention of reporters.

The reporters weren't interested in anything else, instead digging deep into the complicated relationship between the three of us.

Gossip and speculation abounded.

Such humiliation was more painful than torture for a proud man like Julian.

Serena was the first to break.

She had an abortion, went abroad alone, and left Julian's world forever.

Upon receiving the abortion photos, Julian also broke down.

His eyes red, he glared at me, furious.

"It was you, wasn't it? You called the reporters?"

"Haven't I been good enough to you? Why, why would you do this to me?"

"Even if I owed you in a past life, these ten years should have paid it back, right? Why won't you just let me go?"

"Naomi, I'm truly tired. Serena's presence was like the last light in my life, my only solace."

"Why, why would you take away even this last bit of hope!"

Overwhelmed by emotion, Julian randomly grabbed a handful of sleeping pills and shoved them into his mouth.

He then turned on the gas taps in the house, intending to die with me.

I smiled helplessly.

And as I smiled, tears welled up in my eyes.

He didn't need to do this.

My death alone would have been enough.

I hadn't told Julian that my right hand could move.

I could control my wheelchair myself.

And I could choose whether or not to continue living.

As the sleeping pills began to take effect, I bit down on Julian's collar with my teeth.

Maneuvering my wheelchair, I slowly pushed him out.

The moment Julian's body was propelled outside the house,

Sparks from the wheelchair's mechanism instantly triggered the explosion.

Raging flames instantly consumed everything.

I smiled and closed my eyes.

Julian.

This time, we both can finally find release.

I hope that after I die, you can find the happiness you desire.