Chapter 3

Over the next few days,

the atmosphere at home was suffocatingly heavy.

Matteus left early and returned late every day.

He smelled of smoke when he came back.

His arguments with Mom and Dad in the living room,

even when deliberately muffled, still reached my ears.

“Chloe said she’ll marry me, but we can’t buy a house in this neighborhood.”

“She said every time she thinks about someone like… *that* being in the house, she has nightmares.”

That was Matteus’s voice, thick with exhaustion.

“Then what do you want to do? Lena wouldn’t have been like this if she hadn’t saved you…”

Dad slammed the table, his voice trembling.

“I know! I know she saved my life!” Matteus suddenly exploded, his voice rising to a shout:

“That’s why I’ve spent the last ten years of my youth! Every penny I earned went to her treatment! Isn’t that enough?”

“Dad, Mom, I want to live a normal life too!”

“I’m almost thirty, how many relationships have I messed up because of my disabled sister, do you even know?”

“I finally found someone who didn’t care about my modest income, and now, because of Lena… it’s going to fail again!”

Silence descended upon the living room.

In my room, I bit down hard on the back of my hand.

My numb skin bled, and the metallic taste filled my mouth.

So, these were Matteus’s true feelings.

All those "I'm not tired," "I'm willing."

Ultimately, in the face of daily despair, they had transformed into "I'm almost thirty," "I want to live a normal life too."

“Then what are you going to do?” Mom asked, crying.

“Send her to a care facility,” Matteus’s voice turned cold, resolute.

“I found a cheaper one in the suburbs. We’ll send her there, and I’ll visit her every month.”

“As long as she’s not in the house, Chloe will accept it.”

“You bastard!”

*Slap!* It sounded like Dad had hit Matteus.

“Send your sister to a place like that? That’s basically sending her to die! You’re trying to force her to her death!”

“Then are *you* trying to force *me* to my death?!” Matteus slammed the door and left.

That night, I had a dream.

I dreamed it was ten years ago, and the fire hadn't started yet.

Matteus held a lighter, smiling at me:

“Lena, look at the fireworks.”

If only then, I hadn’t rushed in and pushed him out.

If only then, it had been him trapped under the burning beam, not me.

Would everything be different now?

Or, if that fire had just killed me outright.

Then Matteus would have mourned me forever, instead of wishing I would disappear like this.

The next day, Matteus brought Chloe home.

This time, they were delivering an ultimatum.

I heard them in the living room discussing the wedding date, and the financial aspects of their marriage.

Finally, the conversation turned to me again.

When they weren't paying attention, I secretly opened the door a crack.

I wanted to see Matteus one last time.

I wanted to see what the Matteus who once carried me to every hospital in the city looked like now.

Through the crack, I saw Chloe nestled in Matteus’s arms, playfully whining:

“So, when is your sister moving out? My parents are coming to see the house next month.”

Matteus was peeling an orange, offering a segment to her lips.

His face held an appeasing and relaxed expression I had never seen before:

“Don’t worry, I’ve arranged everything.”

“She’ll be gone next week.”

“I went to the care facility; it’s a bit out of the way, but no one will see her once she’s inside, so she won’t scare anyone.”

Chloe pouted:

“Honestly, that day really disgusted me. How can someone look like that, like a burnt monster?”

Matteus’s hand paused.

I thought he would object.

Thought he would say, “Shut up,” like he did when we were kids.

But he didn’t.

He just put the orange into Chloe’s mouth and said flatly:

“It is pretty disgusting.”

“If I had known it would turn out like this, it would have been better if she had just died in that fire.”

“Living like that is just suffering, and dragging the whole family down with her.”

In that instant,

the last bit of warmth in my body’s blood turned completely cold.

So, I wasn’t just a burden.

In Matteus’s heart,

I had become so disgusting that he wished I had died.

I gently closed the door.

Without making a sound.

I turned around, looking at myself in the mirror, completely bundled up.

It was indeed disgusting.

Even I couldn’t bear to look for long.

Since Matteus wanted to live a normal life so badly,

since my existence was the greatest misfortune for this family,

then it was time to end everything.