Chapter 4

Reading those chat messages…

The raw mockery, the vile obscenities, the venomous personal attacks – they made my whole body tremble with rage.

Suddenly, my stomach lurched, bile rising in my throat.

I clapped a hand over my mouth, stumbling to the balcony.

Clutching the cold railing, I dry-heaved a few times.

Tears mixed with snot, a pathetic mess streaking my face.

How could this be?

This was Ryan, the man who once ran several blocks in a downpour to save cab fare, soaking wet but meticulously shielding the hot soup he was bringing me.

This was Ryan, who spent his first paycheck on a necklace for me and ate cheap ramen for a month.

This was Ryan, who woke up at 5 AM to stand in line for two hours just because I casually mentioned I wanted a pastry from that popular spot across town.

This was Ryan, who cried more than I did at our wedding, declaring, "Marrying you is the greatest blessing of my life."

…

Three years ago, when I had that terrible flu.

I was burning up, drifting in and out of consciousness.

He stayed awake all night, constantly cooling my forehead, neck, and hands with a warm cloth.

In the early hours, I was so parched, I rasped out a soft moan.

He startled awake, immediately got out of bed, and went to the kitchen for water.

The water was too hot, so he poured it back and forth between two cups, repeatedly, until it cooled.

He blew on it, tested the temperature himself, and then carefully brought it to my lips.

"Slowly, drink slowly..." His eyes held nothing but anxious concern.

During that time my career hit rock bottom.

My boss was making things difficult, my proposals were rejected again and again. I'd come home late, exhausted, and collapse onto the hallway rug.

He always heard me, always came over in silence.

He never asked why. He just quietly knelt down and opened his arms.

I'd bury my head deep in his embrace, like a lost ship finally finding its safe harbor.

He would simply hold me gently.

His embrace held a quiet power, shielding me from every storm.

Even when my check-up revealed blocked fallopian tubes, meaning I couldn't conceive naturally.

He just held me tight and said, "Don't be silly! I'd be jealous, a kid would just steal your love from me!"

I even felt guilty for his boundless acceptance, believing I owed him a complete family and should repay him with boundless love and devotion.

But who would have thought…

One person could wear so many masks. Behind that gentle affection lay such repulsive filth.

He hadn't just betrayed his vows.

He had casually, brutally, shattered everything we had built together, my genuine heart, my unwavering trust!