Chapter 1

My family said I was the devil.

My younger sister, Fannie, was supposedly born psychic. She claimed she could see filthy black auras clinging to people.

So every week when I came home from school, my mother, Emily, would take my phone right on schedule.

Then she’d read every single one of my conversations out loud to the entire family.

They called it “Jessica’s Dirty Diary.”

Later, Fannie got reprimanded by a teacher for going around school telling everyone she was psychic.

Emily was furious.

“What do they know? Fannie is a psychic prodigy.”

And because Fannie insisted I was filthy, Emily scrubbed my body with steel wool every single day.

She said it was the only way to drive the demon out of me.

She scrubbed until the water ran bright red with blood.

My mental state got worse and worse.

So did my grades.

But Emily only grew more excited.

She believed the demon possessing me was finally getting weaker.

“Your grades are dropping because you’ve been screwing around with men! That demon seduced you and turned you into a slut.”

“Tell me. Who’s the man you’ve been sleeping with?”

She ignored my desperate pleas, confiscated my phone, and locked me inside the house.

It wasn’t until my teacher came to check on me that Emily suddenly pretended to be a loving mother.

I stood under my family’s scrutinizing stares like a puppet with no soul.

Then, without warning, I laughed.

For the first time, I admitted that Fannie had been right.

“Mom, you’re right. I’m a demon. I sleep around. I’m a slut.”

...

Slap!

The blow snapped my face to the side.

Emily grabbed me by the hair, her voice shaking with rage.

“Who’s the man who dragged you into this depravity?”

My father watched everything unfold.

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

Something complicated flickered through Fannie’s eyes.

My heart felt like it had been ripped apart.

The tiny spark of courage I’d finally found vanished again.

“Come on, say it. Weren’t you acting so tough just now?”

“You filthy demon possessing my daughter’s body. Or maybe you were born this way.”

She yanked my collar open.

My bra was exposed.

That only made Emily angrier.

“And you still claim you’re innocent? Look at this disgusting thing you’re wearing!”

It was white lace.

The kind of bra that had recently become popular among girls at my high school.

Fannie owned the exact same one.

Emily had seen hers before.

Back then, she’d only smiled and praised her.

“Fannie has such good taste. That’s my girl.”

The doorbell suddenly rang.

My teacher, Linda, stood outside, worry filling her eyes.

Emily had told the school I was sick, so Linda had come to check on me.

“Linda, Fannie told me Jessica has been dating someone at school. Is that true? As her mother, I’m worried she might get taken advantage of.”

In public, Emily had always played the perfect mother.

Meanwhile, I was dragged back into my room.

No one could see what I looked like.

“Emily, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Jessica has always been a very well-behaved student. She’s never done anything like what you described.”

But Emily laughed.

It was a dismissive little laugh.

The kind that said everyone else had been fooled by me.

“Linda, you don’t understand. She’s been different ever since she was little. She’s a devil.”

“She steals Fannie’s hair clips. She steals her dresses. She wears revealing clothes.”

When Fannie asked to borrow my clothes and I said no, apparently that meant I had stolen from her.

When Fannie ripped a hair clip out of my hair and I took it back, apparently that meant I had stolen from her too.

I heard Emily’s words and tried to go out and explain.

But the door had already been locked.

Emily wiped away a few tears.

“As her mother, it breaks my heart that she would do things like this.”

“But Jessica has always been a good kid. Is it possible there’s been some kind of misunderstanding?”

“She’s very good at pretending. The neighbors can prove it. She even lied before and claimed I hit her.”

Right then, a neighbor walked over.

She spoke with absolute certainty.

“Don’t accuse Emily. Jessica is a lying little devil.”

Linda eventually left.

Under those circumstances, there wasn’t much else she could do. After all, everyone saw Emily as a wonderful mother.

Emily came into my room and ripped apart my books.

I threw myself at her, trying to stop her.

“Let go! I still have school!”

“Until you tell me the truth, you’re not going back!”

“Mom, I’m graduating soon. Please...”

She took everything anyway.

I collapsed onto the floor.

A phone pointed at me.

Recording me at my absolute worst.

“This is what you deserve.”

Fannie uploaded my pictures to a private website and made a lot of money off them.

Then she lied to Emily and said I had posted them myself.

And every time she did, I was punished again.

“Who told you to develop like this? Your breasts are practically hanging out. It’s disgusting.”

“And you’re posting pictures of yourself for anyone to see?”

She scoffed, then barked at me.

“Put some muscle into it! Stop trying to slack off!”

Numbly, I gripped the steel wool and slammed it against my chest.

With a single stroke, the scabbed wounds tore open again.

I curled in on myself from the pain.

In the past, I would always end up sobbing uncontrollably.

But this time, something strange happened.

I became almost addicted to it.

I scrubbed harder.

Harder and harder.

So hard that even Emily, who always complained that I was too gentle, finally slapped the steel wool out of my hand.

“That’s enough. Stop putting on some pathetic show.”

“You need to understand that I’m doing this for your own good. If I don’t do this, how am I supposed to exorcise you?”

Emily had taken me to pastors before.

Every single one of them had said there was no demon inside me.

Only Fannie insisted she could see black light surrounding me.

After that, my mother stopped believing anyone else.

She insisted on exorcising me in her own way.

She stood over me, staring down as the corner of her mouth twitched.

I said nothing.

I only stared at the red water.