Chapter 3

Maybe the pain of jumping off the building in my past life was too real—I slept deeply.

My dreams were filled with fragments from that past life.

My fingers cracking from the cold while pumping gas at the station in winter.

The despair when I discovered my wife had stolen all my savings and run off with another man.

My mother standing in my empty house saying, "When the money's gone, just earn more. Listen to me, I'll help you find another woman next time, definitely better than this one."

I woke up with a start, my forehead covered in cold sweat.

The bedroom light was off, only the computer screen glowing faintly.

I heard the soft tapping of keyboard keys.

Someone was sitting at my desk, trying to guess my computer password.

Hearing me wake up, the next second, the bedroom light snapped on, making me squint.

Before I could react, my mother had already thrown the computer violently onto my bed.

Her face was iron-gray, filled with the fury of being defied. She pointed at me and cursed:

"You changed the password? What do you mean by that? You're guarding against me like I'm a thief?"

A fire blazed up inside me, but when our eyes met, I suddenly felt only powerless.

I had already anticipated this scene.

For over a decade, she'd entered my room whenever she wanted.

She looked at my phone whenever she wanted. I even had to tell her when I set a password.

I sat up, pulled the computer toward me, and said calmly:

"I told you, I'm making my own decisions about college applications. This is my computer. You have no right to look through it."

"I'm your mother! What can't I see that belongs to you?"

Her face flushed red, her voice shrill.

"Would I hurt you? I just want to see what schools you applied to. I'm doing this for your own good!"

"Why do you need to go so far away?"

"If you study locally, after graduation I'll find you a stable job. Isn't that better than being out there?"

I'd heard these words my entire life. In my past life, it was all this "for your own good" that dragged me into hell.

"Enough!"

My voice wasn't loud, but it made her stop abruptly.

I walked to the desk and picked up the fruit knife lying there. I wasn't pointing it at her, just holding it.

"Mom, you said if I don't apply to local schools, I'm driving you to death. But have you ever considered me?"

She opened her mouth but said nothing.

"My grades can get me into the best schools in America, studying the major I most want to study."

"But you insist I stay local and attend an ordinary school I don't even respect. Mom, that's not for my own good—that's ruining the rest of my life."

"I think you're the one trying to drive me to death."

The moment those words left my mouth, my mother's expression went blank.

She seemed to truly see me for the first time.

For the first time, she realized that her always-obedient son harbored such deep resentment.

Then she exploded.

"I'm driving you to death? Julian, do you have no conscience? I provided food and clothes for you! I sacrificed everything for you!"

"And now you're telling me I'm forcing you? Fine! I'll die right now and let you see! You'll be satisfied when I'm dead!"

She cried and rushed toward the balcony, her movements exaggerated, but I knew she wouldn't jump.

This was just her most effective method to make me compromise.

Seeing I hadn't moved, Mom cried even louder.

Soon, impatient banging came from next door, followed by the neighbor across the way opening their window and roaring angrily:

"What's all this wailing in the middle of the night? Are you going to let people sleep? Keep it up and I'm calling the police!"

My mother's cries caught in her throat.

She froze at the balcony edge, unable to advance or retreat, her face alternating between red and white.

Finally, she glared at me fiercely, quickly walked back to her own room, and slammed the door heavily.

The world was finally quiet. But I knew it wasn't over yet.

The next morning when I woke up, my mother was already gone.

I didn't think much of it. After washing up and changing clothes, I went out to look for part-time work.

College would cost money. Although I had a scholarship, I didn't want to rely on her for living expenses anymore.

More importantly, I needed to start saving myself an escape route.

After running around all afternoon, I got home around five-thirty.

I walked to my bedroom door, grabbed the handle, pushed it open—my computer was gone.

"Where's my computer?"

"Oh, that."

She put vegetables into a basin, her tone casual.

"I accidentally knocked over my water cup today and spilled water on the computer."

"So I took it to a repair shop. The technician said it needs to be examined, might take a few days."

Something felt wrong.