Chapter 3

When I opened my eyes again, I was floating near the dining table at home.

Dad was covering Chloe's eyes, and Mom carefully carried a fruit cake.

"Happy 6th Birthday to our darling Chloe!"

Chloe opened her eyes and smiled in surprise.

"Mom, Dad, I've never seen such a beautiful cake!"

My eyes welled up instantly.

Chloe was still young when I got sick. Because of me, she'd never had a proper birthday growing up.

Every birthday, I would have an episode, then be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Mom and Dad had no time to spare for her.

Come to think of it, this might be the first time Chloe had ever seen a cake.

Mom turned her head to wipe away a tear, then cut Chloe a large slice of cake.

"Eat more if you like it, Chloe."

But Chloe took the cake and ran straight to the bathroom.

She raised her hand and gently knocked on the door, whispering,

"Come out and eat cake, Lily! I remember you love sweets the most!"

I wrapped my arms around her small body, wanting to tell her.

I'm sorry, Chloe. I can't eat cake anymore.

It's my fault. I've brought bad luck to your birthday.

But my hand passed right through her body, unable to touch anything.

Chloe didn't get a response for a long time. She walked back dejectedly.

"Mom, is Lily mad? She won't talk to me."

Mom hugged her, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Don't mind her. She just loves to act up and pretend. Haven't we always saved her from suicide attempts? This time must be fake too."

"Today is your birthday, don't worry about her."

As Mom spoke, she caught sight of the food Chloe had saved for me on the table. It was food Chloe had specifically asked Mom to make extra for me.

Her temper flared up again. She swept the plate of food into the trash can with a clang, and the plate shattered on the floor.

"If she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat! Don't let her act like everyone owes her something every day. Haven't we sacrificed enough already?"

I wanted to shout at her, Mom, I wasn't pretending!

I was in so much pain and misery every day, with two voices constantly fighting in my head! I only lived this long for you!

I know you sacrificed a lot, that's why I died, so you wouldn't have to sacrifice anymore!

Chloe looked anxious and flustered, contradicting Mom.

"Mom, don't talk about Lily like that! She's just sick! She's always so nice to me."

Dad patted Chloe's back and told her,

"Chloe, your sister can be quite selfish sometimes."

"She's always thinking about how miserable she is, never caring about what the rest of the family thinks."

"Mom and Dad work so hard to earn money, but Lily just stays immersed in her own world all day."

"Mom and Dad are so tired they can barely straighten their backs, but she just keeps trying to kill herself."

He seemed to have forgotten that I was just a ten-year-old child.

Floating in the air, I looked incredulously at Dad, the dad who used to dote on me the most.

When I was seven, Mom and Dad left me to play at a neighbor's house, but the neighbor's elderly relative did something terrible to me.

During those most painful days, my body activated a protective mechanism.

Whenever I thought about that day, my consciousness would blur, and One would emerge to re-experience those scenes over and over again.

Since then, I developed Dissociative Identity Disorder, and One's constant desire to die stemmed from that very reason.

Dad had knelt beside me back then, crying and saying he was sorry, promising to take care of me for life.

Dad, didn't you say you'd love me forever?

Even though I was now a spirit, my heart still ached.

Their guilt and love had been worn away by daily exhaustion, leaving only impatience and resentment.

I became the sinner who burdened the whole family. I kept Mom and Dad tied down to me every day.

My pain, in their eyes, had become an act, a show.

Even my death became a means to gain sympathy.