Chapter 4

The sunlight was blinding, so I shielded my eyes with my hand.

“Hey, would you like to check this out?”

Lowering my hand, I saw a mascot—a large, clumsy teddy bear—approaching me. It

looked a little ridiculous.

I took the flyer from him. It was for a nearby café.

“Sure, I’ll check it out. Thanks.”

My mind drifted back to the days I spent handing out flyers with Chris.

The streets back then were scorching—like a furnace. I had suffered through those days with him.

I smiled at the mascot and was about to leave when his cheerful voice called out again.

“Hey, you’ve got a beautiful smile.”

I froze, that same sentence ringing in my ears.

Anna, you look so beautiful when you smile.

“Really?” I asked without thinking.

The rough fabric of the mascot costume brushed my cheek as the teddy bear patted me gently.

“If you don’t cry, it’s even better.”

“Don’t cry, okay?”

I touched my face, feeling the wetness on my fingers.

Was I crying again? I shouldn’t be.

After a moment, I let a smile break across my face. I hugged the mascot, and he didn’t pull away.

“Thank you.”

I must be going crazy.

I sat there, watching as he handed out flyers, chatting up passersby.

He told me I should head home.

I shook my head and refused.

He didn’t mind. Instead, he shuffled around in his clumsy mascot suit, blocking the sun for me.

So this is what it feels like to have someone care for you.

As the sun set, he removed the suit and sat next to me.

A bottle of water sat beside him—something he had run out to buy for me.

The weather had been too hot, and his hair stuck damply to his forehead.

I handed him a tissue.

He took it, wiping the sweat from his face before pushing his hair back.

So bright, so good-looking.

So different from Chris’s steady appearance.

I stared at him absentmindedly until he waved his hand in front of my face, laughing.

“Hey, did I stun you with how good I look?”

His playful antics made me laugh.

I pushed his hand away and stood up.

“Stop being so full of yourself.”

“I’m heading home. You should go home early too.”

The ride-share honked impatiently.

I waved goodbye and got in the car.

Through the window, I watched as he stood there, holding the mascot suit in his arms, smiling and waving back at me, the sunset behind him.

I never told him that his smile was just as beautiful.

Years ago, I was the one wearing the mascot suit, shielding Chris from the heat.

The inside had been suffocating, like an oven.

Chris’s impatient tone and spoiled attitude still lingered vividly in my memory.

What was I thinking back then?

I was thinking that I wished someone would shield me from the sun.

Why am I thinking about Chris again?

I touched my eyes once more—dry this time.

No more tears.

Back home, the emptiness remained.

Somehow, Wendy Summers had added me on WeChat. I accepted, but she didn’t message me.

I knew what she was planning.

Sure enough, she posted a playful caption and a photo on her feed.

“Dinner with my favorite person! Even the lemonade tastes sweet!”

The picture showed two glasses of lemonade and a lavish meal.

And, of course, a man’s hand—it could only be Chris.

Smart as ever, he had even taken off the watch I gave him.

Once again, I opened my diary and wrote.

“Today, Chris forgot I would bring him lunch. He ate with another girl. That girl even fed him the carrots he doesn’t like. I was furious and slapped her. Chris sided with her and made me apologize. I’m so sad.”

After that day, Chris rarely came home.

I couldn’t sleep, and even the sleeping pills stopped working.

Sometimes, I would fall asleep, only to wake up soon after in the darkness of my dreams.

My hair began to fall out in clumps, and my weight dropped steadily.

Even though I had planned everything, including my final departure, I still couldn’t find peace.

Sometimes, looking at my pale reflection in the mirror, I’d think back to the days before Chris, when I was just as radiant and lively as Wendy. I couldn’t stop myself from breaking down into sobs.

I had to speed up the plan—I didn’t know how much longer I could endure.