Chapter 5

Before bed, I filled the entire bathtub, wanting to thoroughly wash myself clean.

But when I took off my clothes, the bruises on my skin were still very visible.

Memories of last night came flooding back uncontrollably.

The scorching heat of the young man's skin as we embraced tightly, the burning breath in my ear as we made love, the lingering warmth still seemed to surround me.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to get rid of these wild thoughts.

I found the roughest loofah and scrubbed my skin over and over again, only stopping when my whole body turned red.

Clumsily trying to erase this most shameful memory of my life.

As a result, I was in so much pain that I couldn't sleep well all night.

Ryan indeed didn't send any more messages.

Breaking the habit we'd had for six years, ever since we got phones, of saying goodnight to each other without fail.

This was for the best.

It would have happened sooner or later anyway.

Might as well start detoxing from tonight.

I dozed off fitfully until nearly dawn.

The next morning while I was still sound asleep, I suddenly felt someone plant a light kiss on my forehead in my dream.