Chapter 4

I curled up in pain and ignored him.

He sighed and closed the car door before leaving.

I drove aimlessly, memories playing through my mind like a silent film.

Five-year-old Adrian showing his little fangs when we first met, saying I was the prettiest little girl he'd ever seen.

Eight-year-old Adrian promising to turn the whole city into an amusement park for me because I wanted to go every day.

Eighteen-year-old Adrian hiring people to create a rain of cherry blossoms, kneeling on one knee to propose.

Twenty-two-year-old Adrian giving up studying abroad to stay with me for graduate school, promising we'd never be apart.

Twenty-five-year-old Adrian watching me break down in tears, yet still insisting he couldn't have only one woman for the rest of his life.

My heart felt like it had been torn in half, bloody and raw.

I don't know how I made it home.

I sat on the couch all night. Adrian never came back.

Perhaps after confessing to me, he felt completely unburdened.

From that day on, he fully became a playboy.

He frequented nightclubs, got tangled up with models and various minor celebrities.

I couldn't accept it. Every day I frantically went to different clubs to confront him, arguing, demanding answers, screaming.

I tore to shreds all the dignity I'd built up over twenty-some years.

But he deliberately showed me the scratch marks on his back, raising his eyebrows provocatively.

"Winnie, this is punishment for being so possessive. If you can't accept me as I am now, then we can't spend our lives together!"

My chest ached with tremors.

I knew we could never go back. I knew how pathetic I looked, unable to let him go.

But I couldn't let go.

Twenty years of connection---he and I had grown together, flesh and blood intertwined.

Separating would mean scraping bone and carving flesh. It would be agonizing.

Meanwhile, our parents sent me photos every day, full of joy.

They'd bought us a newlywed villa.

They put photos of Adrian and me from over the years in every room.

They even started decorating children's rooms---one pink, one blue.

These were all the futures Adrian and I had once dreamed of together.

Mom said, "Winnie, I'm so happy you're marrying your first love. We've seen how good Adrian has been to you all these years. I hope you two will be happy together forever."

In that moment, my reason completely shattered. All I could think about was keeping Adrian.

Even though he kept seeing other women.